


The world ended but my heart is still looking for you.

by namu_ni



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Lexa Lives (The 100), Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:07:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25574803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/namu_ni/pseuds/namu_ni
Summary: When Lexa wakes up in an unknown place after being shot, she works herself back to health to find out the world had ended.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 9
Kudos: 110





	The world ended but my heart is still looking for you.

**Author's Note:**

> I should be writing three times, I am not. This occured to me as i was listening to "songs for an empty world" by cryo chamber on yt and just had to get it out...  
> Not edited, just wrote everything in one sitting and called it a day.  
> Enjoy x.

There is a strange noise calling to her, but she can't quite reach it. It feels like a part of her has been gone for a while. And when she tries to move, to alert her body, to try and wake up from the heavy slumber, she feels a weight. Like she's reached too deep in the water, something holding her down.

She moves in a out of of the slumber phase, all she feels is that she can't never escape it. 

But eventually, she doesn't know how long, she awakes. She's disoriented, and keeping her eyes open feels like trying to fight the pass of time, nearly impossible, but she tries nonetheless. 

There is something in her mouth, and she's surprised to find that it keeps water dripping down her throat, slowly, drop by drop. Yet her mouth is still dry, like she has been here for... She doesn't think about it. It's better that she doesn't.

Getting up is another feat. Her limbs, her body, just won't listen to her. Again it moves to the front of her mind, the time she must have spent there. But she shakes the thought back to the back of her mind, which by this point is working in overdrive. 

It feels like ages have passed by the time she manages to get rid of the pipe in her mouth, with a heavy hand that looks paler than it's ever been, though it could be the fluorescent lights hovering her that make it look so.

She breathes in, and the air tastes stale, closed, lifeless. She doesn't like it. She feels a chill down her spine, and forces what little strength she's got left to get up at once. She manages to sit up, unsteady, and only then notices the wires stuck to her skin. 

Is she... In the mountain? She saw similar things... But then again, how? She lets the thought go, there's more pressing matters at hand. 

She gets rid of everything hanging to her body, tries to get up. Fails. Twice. Before finally standing up. Barely. There's a heavy fog clouding her mind, but there's always someone there. She shakes her head, no point thinking about her, now. 

Moving around, slowly, testing her body, she reaches a different room, where she finds food and bottles water. It's... Bad, the food, the water is just water, but her stomach appreciates it. She guesses there was something in the different wires that kept her fed, because she knows that she has been asleep long enough to need it. 

She eats little of the dried meat and berries, not wanting to upset her stomach, and completely ignores what she is sure is canned food. Empties half a bottle of water and returns to the bed. She needs rest if she wants her body to work again.

Days go by, she knows it's days because there is a strange clock near her bed, but she's still to go outside. So far, she's been able to visit two rooms besides the one she woke up in. They're both for storage, but different kinds. One is for food and water. And the other has books and many materials. She doesn't know what they are for, but she has been using them to work out back into shape. 

It's lonely, but it is what it is.

Two weeks later, she cracks open what she knows must be the main door, what could take her outside. But her current strength doesn't let her push it fully open. 

The crack, however, is enough for her to catch some fresh air, so she simply focuses harder on getting better.

With the sole goal of getting out, she trains hard everyday, eats as much as her supplies will allow her, because she doesn't want to run out, and rests. 

By the second month since she's been awake, she starts reading the books. They are books from the world before the bombs, before the fire, and it's about tech. She reads them and uses them. She learns the uses of the strange clock, which she's found out is digital. Now it also tells her the weather outside, and the date. She knows it's summer, the 24th of August, but the bunker always has the same chill temperature. Artificial and stale. So it might as well be any other season.

She also fixes the lights in the food room, now they don't blink anymore, and she's very happy about it.

Most importantly, she learns to use the shower, camouflaged with a wall that changes colour in the sleep room. 

The first time she showers, she almost cries, because the stale smell of the air finally starts to change, and she can get rid of the grime on her skin.

She only showers once a week, however, because she knows that it uses a lot of resources that especially in summer take longer to refill.

It's four months after that, when she finally learns that she was in a coma for almost two years. She has a panic attack, and she sleeps away a whole week before she snaps out of it and goes back to trying to get out.

Its 9 months and 17 days later when she finally bursts the door open. Rubble fills the room, and Lexa stares, eyes full of tears. The forest is gone, only debris left behind, burnt down trees and craters. 

She stares, and stares, until the light that filtered the shadows of the skeletons of the trees and the step of a mountain introduced a new night. Then, leaving the door wide open, she went back to bed. 

She was surprised there still were more tears to shed.

The next few weeks go by blur, she looks around, and isn't surprised to find animals lurking around, but not a single person. She finds places where nature is growing back, either trees that start looking green all over again or small clearing where butterflies and other animals enjoy the blooming flowers.

It's almost two months later when she finally spots it. Tall, and proud, standing regardless. The tower of Polis. So she goes back to the bunker, packs supplies, the weapons she's been making and a few warmer clothes, and parts to Polis.

She makes up her mind, on the way there. Two long days of watching nature take over once again. She will go to her tower, will that way kill the small hope that kept trying to tell her that maybe... Maybe Clarke made it somehow. She will make peace with the world that in the end she failed to change, and then, she would die, like all commanders before her, in the tower.

Like she should have, when Titus shot her.

In Polis, everything is quiet. There's nothing but birds and small animals running around. No one to be seen. There are parts that were hit and are nothing but debris, there are other parts that are intact, like nothing has happened. And there, in the middle of everything, is the tower. 

When she steps inside, night has already fallen, and she has half a mind to go to her room, but ends up going to Clarke's. Where she sleeps a fitful sleep.

The next day, she walks around the tower, so full of ghosts, and is engrossed in a memory, of Anya and Aden, bickering and mocking her, in the very room she's standing, but she snaps out of it because she hears steps. 

They're quiet and careful, but they're there, and Lexa almost cries because, what are the chances of someone surviving and being here?

She's not an expert, but she knows there must be radiation in the air... So... Is it one of her nightbloods... Perhaps.

She moves toward the steps, careful, and even though she's lost some skills, her stealth is still perfect. 

When she catches up, she sees a little girl, dark brown hair and pale skin... Then she turns around, probably noticing she's being watched and-

Oh.

Her eyes are blue-green. A perfect mix of hers and...

But then she looks down and sees it, Clarke's watch, hanging on her wrist, definitely all too big for the girl.

Then she sprints away, and Lexa stays there, dumbfounded.

The next day, Lexa stays in the place where she found the girl. And then the next, and the next...

Five days later, she hears them again, the steps, even more careful this time. The girl doesn't notice her, too focused on not making noise, and Lexa can't help but smile fondly. She disappears for a while, perhaps two hours, then she comes back, obviously not caring about stealth as much, the backpack Lexa hadn't even noticed before, now full.

She's humming something softly, and then she spots Lexa.

They stare at each other again, but this time the girl doesn't run, instead, she steps closer and asks:

"Are you real?" In prefect trig, and Lexa gasps a little. She nods, before offering a small sha. She barely recognizes her own voice after so long, but the girl's eyes widen, and she runs away again. 

Lexa doesn't follow. She's too scared. Because what does this even mean... Everything seems... Unreal. Perhaps she's hallucinating, she doesn't put it past her brain to cheat her like this. After all... Isn't this something that she'd dream of, a child that resembles her and-

She shakes her head and moves to the little bed she had improvised near the place, not wanting to miss the girl coming.

She doesn't see her again for a whole week, and Lexa is losing the little hope she's got left.

Then she appears, walking carefully, but looking for... Well she can only assume she's looking for her.

"Hello, my name is madi. Who are you and why are you here?"

"I'm Leksa kom trikru, I used to be commander, I came here thinking everyone to be dead, to die where every flame before has died." 

The girl, Madi, looks surprised, then a big toothy smile engulfs her whole face, "you're Leksa?"

She turns around, and runs, then stops and looks at Lexa over her shoulder and tells her to follow.

Lexa doesn't think twice about it, and starts running behind the giggling girl.

When they get to one of the parts of the tower that have succumbed to either the pass of time or the bombs and have become nothing but ruins of rubble. The girl then lays down and crawls inside one of the biggest holes, Lexa close on her feet. 

It's a few minutes after, when they finally start walking again, that Lexa notices that they're in the sewers under the streets. They walk for a long while, and there's a point where Lexa genuinely thinks they're lost. But then they get to the ruins of the old world, what she now knows to be an old metro station. They crawl again, and they reach place full of different doors, where Lexa hears different voices and feels her heart grow... But Madi ignores every door until the very last on the right, where she knocks as if she's trying to break it down instead and then-

"Madi, what took you so long this time? You know how your mom gets when you run away into Polis. I will not answer aga- OH GODS" the door finally opens fully and a grown Aden appears. Gawking at her, though she's sure she looks the same. He looks like a man now. Taller than her, by a whole head, and starting to show a harsher less round face and broader shoulders. They move at the same time, to hug, and if she sheds a few tears while her face is buried in his chest, it's not like anyone can know. 

"Lexa, gods, I'm so happy to see you. I- I- we all thought you were dead... But, there's no time for that, let me, just. Follow me."

He grabs her hand and drags her towards the door in front of his, not bothering to knock. And there, pen in hand, with a tired look, bent over an old looking desk...

"Will you ever knock before bursting in, love?"

"Hey! It was Aden!" Madi whines behind her, but Lexa is too lost in her own head, in the way Clarke slowly turns, eyebrow arched and a slightly crooked smile that falters as soon as her eyes fall on Lexa. For about two seconds before she looks away.

"Klark-"

"Don't. What, what on earth is going on?" Clarke is completely avoiding her eyes now, she looks angry but then Madi steps up, and goes to her.

"It's Lexa mom, I found her in the tower, I thought... I thought you'd be happy that she's alive, so I brought her with me. I- I am sorry."

"Lexa is dead. I saw her die. And whoever that is... Pretending to be Lexa..." Then she does look at Lexa, and she almost swoons, because she didn't quite remember the fire that the blonde could hold in her.

"Klark. I know it's been years but. It is me I-"

"I want you to leave. Forget this place ever existed. Lexa is dead. I watched her die I..."

Aden holds her hand softly and pulls her away.

"I'm sorry Leksa, I didn't think she'd react like this..."

"It's alright, let's give her time, I know I wouldn't believe anyone if I was in her shoes." Lexa knows she has no right to put any pressure on Clarke. So she asks Aden if they could share the room and the boy happily accepts and starts telling her everything that happened while she was away.

It takes four days for Clarke to even talk to her again. She knocks on Aden's door, with a shy Madi hiding behind her.

"The kids said you hadn't left. They also told me over and over again that you are undoubtedly their Heda."

The kids, or her old Natblida, had spent most of the last four days around her. All of them had grown a lot, and they had told her how Clarke had saved them all from Ontari, hiding them here, and had saved the world only to realize that it was going to be bombed. Then she had helped her friends escape to space, but she had stayed behind with them, since she had become Natblida to defeat Alie, the evil tek version of Becca Praimheda. 

The radiation didn't affect them, so they had spent the first year living under the metro station with the supplies they had gathered before the bombs fell. 

Only after the first year they had started to go up to the surface, even though they'd still mostly stay underground. 

Apparently, besides making her company, they had been talking her up to Clarke. She would have to thank them somehow.

"Are you... Are you really Lexa? Because if you aren't, I just don't know what I would do," Clarke lets out a small sigh. "I've survived for three years, for them, because I knew how important they were for yo- for Lexa. But now, you come here, and you give me hope, and if you're lying, somehow... I don't think I could ever recover again."

There's a small silence again. Lexa didn't miss the way Clarke kept looking away. Nor the way she had said she had survived... Not lived and...

"Well, wasn't it you who told me that life should be more than just surviving?" Clarke gasps softly, still not looking at her, and Lexa just wants to hold her and never let go. "It's me, Klark. I don't know how, but someone healed me inside and old world bunker. I woke up a year ago, but I could barely move, having been still for so long. It took me a long while to open it, and then another while to spot Polis. I came thinking I could die where I once belonged, but then I saw Madi, with your watch... It gave me hope that maybe you were alive... Klark, this whole time, the only reason I kept moving was because deep down... Sone part of me just knew that you had to be alive." She stepped closer, held Clarke's face in her (trembling) hands, and softly caressed the face that she thought would never see again with her thumb. Her eyes moving quickly, trying to memorize her all over again. "If you'd have me, Klark, I would like to make up for all the time we have lost, for all the time I wasted." The blonde beauty was crying now, silently, and Lexa, well, she was trying her best to hold it in, to at least say it: "I love you, Klark. In this life, and any other life I've had and will have, my heart is yours."

One.

Two.

Three.

It felt like time had stopped, her breathing definitely had.

"Mom," Madi stage whispered. Clarke seemed to snap out of it then. Finally breaking into a smile that could rival the sun itself and leaning in to capture Lexa's lips.

Lexa was afraid she was asleep. How many times had she dreamed about this. Her heart seemed to be trying to win a race with how fast it was beating. She just... 

She hugged Clarke and then broke the kiss to spin her around the air. Making both Clarke and Madi giggle. Lexa joined, never having felt so happy, so at home.

"I love you, too. I think I have loved you all my life, even before I met you."

And Lexa cried then, but it was Clarke's fault. So she hid her face in Clarke's neck and took a deep breath, smelling all Clarke, only Clarke.

The world might have ended again, she might have almost died, but she had Clarke. And she had all her Natblida. 

She was home. Finally. 

Always.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and stay safe   
> Koda x


End file.
